Alley Viper (2004)

A Real Missed Opportunity–that should have been the tagline for the 2002-2006 GI Joe era. Most every time I pull out a figure from the period that strikes me as memorable, my thoughts are usually prefaced or end with some kind of disappointment in at least one aspect of the figure. Don’t get me wrong, I still like the era on the whole, especially from the standpoint of a Joe line primarily made for kids (you know, like the old days).

The character designs of the time (by Draxhall Jump Studio) were amazingly rendered and had a very modern comic book vibe. The results when translated into plastic were often less than spectacular. Such was the case with the era’s Alley Viper. Check out the package art:

I must say that the details of the art are all there in the sculpt; it’s in the proportions where things fall apart. In fact, Alley Viper is one of the worst sufferers of the debilitating disease that stuck 8 out of 10 GI Joe figures from 2004–I’m talking about Short Torso Monkey Arms Long Leg Syndrome. An unfortunate side effect of the disease was also Pin Head Teeny Hands.

This red version was released single carded to specialty stores like Family Dollar and the like at a budget price of only $3.00 during the Valor Vs. Venom line. Yeah, I bought a few. What can I say–I felt sorry for the guy. He’s a lovable loser.

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